So I had put up a list on my wall of things I wanted to do over the holiday… partly because I have no job. :( I managed to get all of them done and even added a few things that I’ve done randomly.

TO DO:

Buy new car radio

Write letters to my host family in Japan

Mail application/feedback to Auckland Theatre Company

Volunteer at Sylvia Park as a gift-wrapper

Watch:

Brokeback Mountain

Donnie Darko

Read:

Brokeback Mountain

On The Road

 Finish last ‘assignment’ for Bible College

Mow the lawns (for the first time)

Write a short story about my grandfather

First of all, I hate Romantic films. And anybody who knows me knows that I cringe at the sight of typical plots of loveydovey movies and think that it is just one big load of bullshit.

Second of all, Gay themed films are usually really badly produced/directed and feed off the stereotypical expectations of a flamboiyant character and a predictable story that deals with “coming out” with usually (if not always) terrible terrible actors with no real acting ability.

Brokeback Mountain is a film that made me bawl my eyes out and I honestly cannot stop thinking about it. The tragedy, the cinematrography, the acting, the cast and the music. Everything was just so articulate and well executed it left me breathless and with a heavy heavy heart.

I am not just saying this because of my sexual orientation, because of course I think that gay themed films are a load of shitty recurring themes. But because the way in which it was executed was just perfect. The pain that you can physically see in the protagonist Ennis (which Heath Ledger plays ) is absolutely astounding. You can see the struggle of love and identity through his fits of rage and heartfelt frustration. You can see his battle with his own sexuality the anger in which he has towards himself for falling in love with the kind and caring Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal) who also played his part to perfection. Unlike Ennis, Jake was more open to the idea of their relationship to coninue and Jake uses such great technique in terms of acting to show his raw love that his character has. Even without the raunchy sex scenes, his eyes show such concern and such love and care for Jack that it just draws attention and reflects his internal intentions. Jack is the character that is ‘trying to make things work’ And if you are like me, you can relate to both characters on several levels. Both protagonists play this conflict with utmost brilliance. The chemistry between the two is almost tangible.

Its more than a film about ‘gay cowboys’. It delves into how love is complicated and it discusses the “outsider character’ and takes a modern view of ‘forbidden love’ (like ‘Romeo and Juliet’) It gets out of the ‘gay scene’ and goes further into heterosexual relationships and the expectations of society at the time. Both characters ended up with families to women and lived the sterotypical lifestyle that came with a submissive housewife, scraming children and a repulsive father-in-law. With the coming of age, this film also shows the ‘long-run’ of the relationship and as the audience we are able to witness their forbidden love progress (as frustrating as it is) into the most suprising and empty of all endings that left me in mourning and anger. To be honest, I already knew the ending before I watched it (a couple of days ago) and suprisingly even though I knew Jack would die, the effect that the music, acting from Ledger and cinematography caught me and squeezed a 100 litres of tears. Even though I knew it was about to happen, it still grabbed me and refused to let go. It wasn’t just my tears that cried, but my heart was drenched. Not only in Jacks death and the unfortuante event, but my heart mourned for Ennis. The shirts that are used as a symbolism of a frustrating and (sometimes violent) relationship, and the photo hanging on the cupboard of an elusive Brokeback Mountain ‘Love Affair’ contrasted with the tearful eyes of Ennis hit it home and brought me to the most unsatisfactory yet powerful conclusions I have ever seen.

Bravo Brokeback Mountain. Bravo.