For years I have tried to resist dominant culture.

The culture that says heterosexual relationships are the way to go. That a man’s brute is measured by his way with weights but most times his way with women.

The culture that says teenagers are emotionally and mentally ‘disable’ and downright rebellious with their parties and rowdy gatherings.

The culture that accepts the outsider while secretly hating him promoting a false dream of freedom.

This is my culture.

I try to be different, I am different.

I like to think I am a man who has a way with men, although I am highly sceptical about love thinking that is just a big delightful scoop of bullshit.

I also like to think that I’m a secure teenager who isn’t as emotionally or mentally disturbed as I think I am. Which is why I hate mainstream counterfeits of what I am supposed to be and what I think I should be.

An oustider- thats what I guess I am. I like to dress in various styles of eras. For example: this season I am inspired by the Teddyboy fashion and am trying to embrace a continental look for Summer.

You see, I am different.

I enjoy being different, I enjoy being odd. Acting differently, talking differently , dressing differently, looking at love differently.

Being Different!

You know what I mean? …

You see, the truth is…

when I see you

- You never see me.

When I approach you, or talk to you or even try and love on you - all you see is different.

You see the clothes, you see the smile, you hear the voice, you hear the opinion and breathe through the awkward silences but you always, always see different.

Never me.

And while you see just a potential friend and never companion, a bonus but never the prize, the single me but never Mr I

I scream:

“CAN ANYONE SEE ME?!”

Or can you just see the different?…

“How are you?, What are you thinking?, Do you like that? Are you always this funny?”

“Are you single? Will you dance with me? Are your eggs boiled or runny?”

You see, the truth is.

I’ve been so obsessed with being different I am stone to love.

Even though I want you to see I am not like the others, I confess that like everybody else…. I yearn to love.

You see, I’m not as different as you thought I was.

I’m slowly beginning to realise that too.